Hey Seth. I seriously doubt you're the letter kind of guy but this is for a super important holiday tradition for a buddy of mine so you get to suck it up and deal.
I wanted to say I guess that you're kind of a huge asshole for leaving. Like seriously, the hugest. I'm supposed to air my grievances at you and that's my grievance, that you're just another name on that stupid wall now. #18. And like you were here for months, why did it have to be literally right after I actually started to give a shit? I didn't even know who you WERE and then we talked and you went and freaking saved my life - or I guess not my life probably but it's very possible that I would've hypothermia'd the crap out of that situation and you showed up in that stupid rain and invited me into your stupid jacket and then we had that stupid blanket huddle real talk and then, THEN you had to disappear.
That wasn't fair. That was pretty much the exact opposite of fair, and that's why you're an asshole.
And it's not even that, Seth. You bailed on Richie too. Like it sucks for me but your brother was this big freaking mess once you disappeared, and your name wasn't even up there yet so I just kept telling him you were gonna come back, you were gonna come back, just trust me. And then all of a sudden you're gone OFFICIALLY and I couldn't even tell him you were coming back anymore. He doesn't know what to do without you, man. You seriously have no idea. You're not here, you don't see it. And I really just want to punch you because I AM here and I DO see it and it freaking sucks. He doesn't deserve any of this. I deserve it and maybe you even deserve it (I honestly don't know you well enough to have any idea) but he doesn't. And I'm doing everything I can but it's not like I'm you, I can't fix this shit or probably even help. I'm pretty much useless here.
But I also wanted to say I'm sorry. That's part of the holiday, is apologizing, but I really mean it. I'm sorry I can't help him, because this is seriously a shithole and nobody should have to feel alone here. And I'm sorry I couldn't keep you here, I am so so sorry, because I don't even know if you WANTED to stay but I know you wouldn't have up and disappeared without Richie, and we don't even know where the hell you GO if you leave here, if you go back home or end up in some kind of lesser hell or Limbo or I don't even know. If you're in some kind of Limbo hell, I am so sorry. I didn't even put you there and I don't think I could've stopped it if I tried but trying would've been better than sitting on my ass and letting it happen. Just assuming you were totally fine, as if anyone's safe around here.
And I'm also sorry for being totally selfish, because I want to say something like "I hope you guys find each other someday soon" but that probably means he'd disappear too so if I said that I'd be lying. Instead, I guess I'll say... Wherever you are, I hope you're kicking ass.
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seth gecko.